Selfish

Why in the hell do you have to be so damn selfish?! You have a beautiful baby girl here whom you've missed half of her life and you insist on wasting your money on people that you barely even know. You're over there living with people that are taking advantage of you and you bow down to them. You had over 300 bucks in your pocket and I never saw a damn penny. I have sacrificed sooo much to take care of her and I think you could spare a little too. You're nothing but a selfish, lying, cheating, good-for-nothing piece of shit. You say you love her but I haven't seen much of it. You need to step up and be a man. You need to get your head of your own ass and start taking responsibility for your actions. You helped make her and your gonna help take care of her. I'm very close to filing child support. You will NOT get her overnight either. You'll have supervised visits. I'm not driving over there anymore. I'm wasting my precious money on you anymore. All my money goes to Breanna and ONLY Breanna. So what's it gonna be????

A poem that I wrote

Another shot of whiskey
keeps the regret away
But as I look in the mirror
the shattered pieces of "US"
come back to me.

Why do I keep doing this?

Physical pleasure is now
becoming emotional chaos.
I guess the emotions feel better
than feeling nothing at all.
The thought of being alone
scares the hell out of me
thats why I keep running
back to you.

I said I could move on without
you by my side. I try to keep strong
Its late and I'm missing you.
I need you know

Baby daddy drama

I had the most terrifying experience of my life as a mother. I let Breanna's father take her for a couple days. It was the first time ever that me and Breanna had been apart. So I was a little on edge anyway. Well at 1:30am this morning I get a call from Jeremiah and he was shit-faced drunk and was talking very weird, wasn't making any sense. I asked him where Breanna was and he wouldn't tell me at first and then he was acting stupid and getting pissed at me because I was freaking out. So i left at 200am to go get my baby and when I got there luckily she was ok asleep on the couch. Jeremiah cried and whined and begged me to take him back and I put my foot down and said no. There's no way in God's green earth that I could ever forgive him for this. I trusted him to take care of her and he blew his chance. He said he was gonna go to a lawyer and get his visitation rights. I talked to his mom and she said he wont be able to ever take her overnight because of a certain charge on his juvenile record. I wont reveal what it is because I made a promise to his mom that I wouldn't tell anyone. But this certain charge has something to do with children its a very common offense unfortunately. Anyway, I don't want him around my baby unless I'm with him. I'm definitely filing child support. Just because he's helped make her doesn't make him a dad. He has to earn that title and so far he hasn't done anything to try. Well i'll go for now. Thanks for reading, Becky